So I came across this list and it really pissed me off for about ten reasons. So Imma hit these points one by one in color text.
1. Sexual intimacy outside of marriage carries the obvious risk of pregnancy and/or
sexually transmitted diseases. No birth control method is 100% effective. There also is
no birth control method that can protect from all STDs. Lets' say you have a paragaurd IUD( the non hormonal one which have like a 99.9&(planned parenthood) rate of effectiveness, that means that of the women on paragaurd .3 women will get pregnant. Now let's pretend that you use condoms on top of the IUD. Condoms alone have like a 98% rate of effectiveness(assuming you can use them perfectly, all the time every time). So that really makes the odds of you making babies like .00001. Ok so I kinda made that up, my point is that the odds that you'd make babies using both paragaurd and a condom are astronomical. The reason I picked paragaurd for this example is because it is in my opinion the best method of birth control for women, because it's non-hormonal and lasts for 5 years. I think that using hormones when they aren't medically needed isn't very wise.
2. When they are married, a man and a woman can feel more freedom to give and
respond physically and emotionally to each other without holding back. This is
because there is deep level of trust, security and acceptance that can grow out of the
marriage relationship that is not experienced outside of it. Marriage, as we tend to know it, is really just a piece of paper. It's a government contract that says if we split up then we have to split everything 50/50. Who says you can't have that same level of trust, security, and acceptance with a boyfriend, girlfriend, or fiance?
3. When a couple crosses over into physical intimacy prematurely, they tend to
become pre-occupied with that aspect of the relationship, neglecting everything else.
They may tend to begin to see each other as sex objects, instead of a whole person.
This will have a deteriorating effect on the relationship which can carry over into
marriage, if the couple stays together that long. I concede that this does tend to happen in relationships between teenagers, but is it an all together bad thing if that happens, at least part of the time in older relationships and marriage? I mean those in the relationship set the rules for the relationship. So if the people in the relationship are OK with being sex objects from the hours of 9-11 on Friday and Saturday nights?
4. For girls and women - Men are less likely to commit to a lifelong relationship with a
woman if they are able to have sex without the commitment. According to a recent
survey, one of the main reasons men give for not committing to a relationship is that
sex is so easy to get. In other words, if they can have pleasure without responsibility,
why not go for it?This point annoys me because it is really one sided, like women can't have desire and pleasure- but it's socially acceptable for men to seek that. I think that at some point in their lives every has a relationship like that where it's cheap thrills and all physical and that's ok- as long as you grow out of it.
5. Sexual intimacy before marriage often results in either one or both partners being
deeply wounded emotionally, especially if the couple breaks off the relationship. The
sexual union was designed to be a permanent bond and it cannot be broken without
damage. This is especially true for the Christian. The joining together physically of a
man and a woman is a symbolic act of “becoming one” as described in the Bible. The
implications of this are of course very serious and not to be taken lightly. Breaking up is hard. I don't think that anyone would deny that. But if you are in a deep, serous relationship with anyone and it ends regardless of how far you went sexually- that's going to leave a wound. I agree that the implications of sex "are very serious and should not be taken lightly" mostly because I don't want STDs, or babies.
6. If a couple has had premarital sexual experience, after marriage they may have a
problem in trusting each other fully, especially if there have been other sexual
partners. Lots of people bring baggage into a marriage and lots of different kinds of baggage. Some people bring in baggage from childhood abuse, or their own parents messy, ugly divorce, or addictions, or pyschological problems. I feel like those issues make who you slept with, or didn't sleep with look really really small.
7. When the individuals in a marriage have participated in premarital sexual relations
with other people, they may tend to compare (intentionally or not) their spouses with
other partners they have had. Also, memories can interfere with enjoyment of the
relationship as “ghosts” from past relationships create barriers between the two. I firmly believe that this doesn't have to be a bad thing. I think if you routinely tell your wife that your ex was better in bed than she is- your problem is probably way bigger than you slept with people before you got married. I really believe that the more people you date, kiss, fondle, what have you- the better spouse you'll eventually be. So many young Christians get married without a clue about their own sexuality. And dating lots of people helps you really grow into that. I'm not suggesting you sleep with every person you ever date, but with every person you have romantic interaction with you learn things you like, and things you don't like in your partner.
8. Couples who live together prior to marriage are more likely to get divorced than
those who don’t (this has been strongly indicated through statistics.) So, the idea of
living together for the purpose of having a “trial marriage” apparently hurts rather
than helps the couple in the long run if they decide to actually get married. So I've seen those studies- and I don't believe them because it seems like most of them are funded by people who against cohabitation and set up the study to end up with the desired result. Those studies also say that cohabitating couples relationships aren't as strong and their married counterparts and are more likely to split up. Who would you expect to work harder to work through their issues, a couple who has to pay a blood sucking lawyer to split up, or a couple who simply has to break the lease? But that seems like kind of a moot point to me. I mean, if a couple couldn't work though argument A how could they get married? It is all part of living and learning.
9. Premarital sexual experiences can lead to feelings of guilt, low self-esteem, anger,
etc. The individual may act out these feelings through self-destructive behavior such
as substance abuse or promiscuity.Premarital sexual experiences lead to guilt, low self-esteem and anger because of the way the church handles sex. The church is too busy telling kids just say no and not busy enough telling them sex and sexual urges and normal natural part of life and that while they need to be handled appropriately , they aren't worth feeling guilty over and that there are bigger things to worry about in life- like getting into college.
10. Premarital sex cheats us out of the best that God has for us. Sex between a man
and a woman is much more than a just a physical act. It involves emotions, the spirit
and the mind as well as the body. Only in marriage can two people fully express
themselves sexually and experience all that God designed them to experience in this
area. Maybe I'm just too jaded, but is sex really the best that God has for us. Surely God more up his sleeve than just sex.