Monday, December 29, 2008

Funny fact of the week.

Human foreskins discarded after circumcision are sold to biomedical companies for use in artificial skin manufacturing. One foreskin contains enough genetic material for 250,000 square feet of new skin. they are also used as a "secret" ingredient in popular anti wrinkle gels.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Post Secret sundays

" Remember that story I told you. You were the princess."

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


Who was the last male you talked to? brandon
Who is someone that can always make you laugh? brandon probably
What were you doing at 10am this morning? playing sims
What were you doing an hour ago? playing sims
Do you plan on moving within the next year? nope
Are you wearing anything on your feet? socks
What are you looking forward to in the next 3 months? second semester, my birthday
Do you remember your dreams? sometimes
Where did your last hug take place? yesterday, at church
Have you been to a baby shower? yeah
What cell phone company do you use? verizon
What color is your hair brush? uhhh which one?
Do you watch the Super Bowl? nope.
What about World Cup? nope
Do you sleep with a teddy bear? nope a panda
What is the last movie you watched? oh god......made of honor.
What movie do you think everyone should watch? Rent
What is your middle name? Bratton
Do you have your future children's names picked out? no I don't
What color is your mailbox? white.
Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home? nope.
What brand is your computer printer? HP?
How many cars can fit in your driveway? 5ish
Who was your Kindergarden teacher? Mrs Ruley
Are you taller than your mom? yep
Do you have any bruises right now? yes
Are you cold right now? nope
Do any of your close friends have kids? yup, my besty has at least 4 illegitment kids.
Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now? actually yes
How many years older and younger than you are you willing to date? 2 years eigher way
What brand are your favorite jeans you own? paris blues
What is the closest red object to you? yarn
What is your favorite video game? sims 2
Do you play games on your cell phone? no
Do you look more like your mom or dad? mom
Have you ever broken a pinata? yeah
Do you have an iPod or Mp3 player? iPod
If someone doesn’t like you its probably because: i'm unapologetic.
Who was the last person in your bedroom? bethany
What are your plans for this weekend? uh nothing?
Have you ever crawled through a window? nope
Do you lose your keys often? nope, like never
How many keys are on your keychain? two
When was your last encounter with the police? i haven't had one.
Do you sing in the shower? no
Do you always wear your seatbelt in the car? yes

Friday, December 19, 2008

Post Secret Sundays

" I just wish that for one day, everyone would say exactly what they wanted to say"

Monday, December 15, 2008

Brandons asexual....

Bethany: We know why all of brandons kids are motherless, because he birthed them. He is asexual, He did himself. He does have ovaries after all.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Yay inspiration

My friend Kayla was telling me about a dilema she had ealier today. Kayla was hanging out at a friends house off campus and found herself without a ride back to campus. She called the girl across the hall from her, Michelle, for a ride. Michelle said that she wasn't doing anything, but wouldn't pick Kayla up.

There are a million reasons Michelle might have decided to not pick up kayla, it was cold, she was hanging out with other people, she had a headache, or it was simply an inconvience.

Kayla was annoyed. I figured that Kayla has three options a) to forget about it. B) hold a grudge against Michelle and refuse to help her in the future. or c) decide that it would be best for forget about the incident, and to grant the next small favor asked of her.

Beyond the story, we do the same thing as Michelle did all the time, a friend asks us for a favor, and we're hanging out with poeple, watching TV, doing homework, napping, mostly things that could be done later and we refuse to help that said friend. Mostly because it is an inconvienance of some sort. The favors we are asked of on a regular basis, a ride to someplace, a place to crash, or maybe just a listening ear, all could be an inconvience...but does that mean that we shouldn't grant these favors? No, in most cases granting these favors involves nothing more than rearranging our schedules and opening up a time slot, maybe twenty minutes to hear a friend rant about her awful suite mates, or forty minutes at the store and back with a friend, or thirty minutes picking up a friend and letting them crash on the couch for the night.

So grant the small favors we're asked of, cause there is no reason not to grant these favors, not really anyway.

Sorry if this is rambly. If its not clear let me know, but other than that, I'm out.


Saturday, December 13, 2008

Uhhhh Brandon has ovaries?

Allie: Do me a favor, don't let me have 18 kids.
Brandon: Dear Lord, please no.
Allie: At number two, kayla is cutting out my uterus.
Brandon: haha Good call, then Imma bury it, so you don't get any ideas.
Allie: Yes! Kayla will cut out the ovaries too.
Brandon: Yay! No ovaries! Tell her to get mine!
Allie: Uh..Brandon...about your ovaries.....
Brandon: Haha what? I have ovaries and a uterus too....I'm unique.
Allie: Ok so I'm assuming
that you are indeed a boy. Being a boy means you have a penis....And having a penis normally means that you don't have overies, uteri, or any other female genitals.
Brandon: Well I am a boy.

a thousand times I've failed

I'm home. Semester is over and I need to do class evaluation things before I can see my final grades..I'll get around to it.

Something I've learned recently is the power of accountability. I have a friend who is a mentor, big brother, accountability partner, whatever. Before I left for college, I gave him permission to call me out, reel me back in, when I'm about to do something stupid, or when I've already done something stupid. It's a two way street though. Because of some things this week, accountability has been practiced. And I guess the point of this vague paragraph is that accountability is important, and I encourage everyone to seek out accountability from someone. It might seem really weird, but when the right person is, for lack of a better word, policing, your actions, it feels safe, really safe. I know that not just anyone can do this, they have to jive with your personality and belief system.

I have more to say, but I'm going to bed now....cause its 3:37 am.


Monday, December 08, 2008

What would you grab?

If your house were burning down, what one thing would you grab?

Really what would you grab, not including pets or people? I know this is really cliche and kind of unplauseable, but. This question was posed to me last night and my first reaction was my laptop, cause it's the most expensive thing I own. But then Brandon made the comment in reference to his answer that nothing he had was irreplaceable.

So I really don't know what I'd grab. I mean I have a lot of stuff, a lot of nice stuff. But none of it is irreplaceable. So maybe I'd grab the jewelry my grandma gave me. I know that the jewelry could be replaced, but at the same time.... Or the picture of grandpa Pete on my wall.

Other than that I had a revelation last night. I was thinking about some stuff and just questioning I guess. So I picked up book to clear my mind or whatever, the book happened to be Lifestories by Mark Hall...aka Casting Crowns. I read the line" God, I don't need to know why. I just know that I love You and I trust You." And that hit me like a ton of bricks.

Shortly before I read that line I got a text that said "I think it's different reasons, besides it being a loaded question that I don't know the answer to, I do know that God is there." I guess I has forgotten that I don't know the big picture, and that God does. He's in control for a reason.

I gotta go eat.


Sunday, December 07, 2008

Post Secret Sundays

"I've learned to let go, to not hold on so tightly, to open at just the right moment and enjoy the light."

I think I can honestly say that I have. Maybe the real rewards happen when you take the leap of faith and let go.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Hey kids......

I've a crazy week. College campuses call it death week, cause it's review of the entire semester.

But whatever.. This week was a really big week for a lot of reasons.

A) World Aids day was monday.

B)Recovery buddies announced its newest thing. A Christmas card swap. It's open to everyone, and I think everyone should do it. See details for the Christmas card swap at the blog located here

Yeah. Thursday I applied for Camp Crosley to work as summer staff. And we'll see what happens. Yeah.

I'm watching Mulan II right now. So I'll catch you later.


Dear Bethany

Dear Bethany,
I really don't know how to tell you this but our romance is over. I think I realized it when I quoted forest gump in your closet and I saw you carve your initials into the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're cowardly enough to understand how awful you are. I'm going to return your toering, but keep my virginity as a memory. You should also know that I was interviewed about the car you stole and that your cucumber-fetishism is weird.

Best of luck on your sex change,

Dear (someone),
I don't really know how to tell you this (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).

(your name)

Fill it in with these!

1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're mean
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When you smacked my ass
August - When I saw the purple monkey
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Lasagna- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chr├ętien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - In ur bathtub
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
None – My prized statue of Michael Jackson in the nude
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
Fuse - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed

7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Silly - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - The cut toenails
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - Your love letters to me
Other - Your Hannah Montanna underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbour’s dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Haven’t showered in a month
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Hate your cooking
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Will tell the authorities that you did not steal that whale in the back yard
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Was interviewed about the car you stole
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral water – I'm scratching my ass as you read this
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Italy - Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself

Monday, December 01, 2008