Wednesday, July 30, 2008

The Girls Who Went Away

Right now I am right in the middle of a really good book. It's called The Girls Who Went Away: The hidden history of women who surrendered children for adoption in the decades before Roe v. Wade by Ann Fessler It's really a must read. It really gives a perspective on my own life.

In 6th grade I had a sex ed class. I don't remember a whole lot of the class, but I remember a whole lot about abstinence, and that carried up through senior year. I only first heard about condoms and the pill in a classroom setting as a senior in high school. And quite frankly by 12th grade, a fourth of my graduating class was already parents, and half had already flirted with becoming parents. So maybe it's too little too late. I know that the two days we spent talking about the pill and condoms, are more than the women in the book ever got. And for that I am thankful we have come that far in human society.

From the title of the book I thought that she is totally pro-life, but now that I am in the middle of it, I really think that the Ann Fessler is pro-education. I know poeple on both extremes of the abortion debate. I know more poeple like myself, who rest someplace in the middle of the two. Whereever you stand in the great abortion debate always work to educate yourself, no matter how much you know there is always more to know.

I think that abortion is a tragic fact of life, one that is unavoidable. I would love to think that if i were caught in the middle of an unplanned pregnancy, an abortion just wouldn't even cross my mind. I've not been there and I hope that I never am there, however because I haven't been there I can't say that I am 100% anti-abortion. And should abortions be made illegal again, I think that we would seriously risk going back in time to unwed pregnancy centers and dangerous, illegal backroom coat hanger abortions.

But that is just my two cents.


Going Green?

Today I was at the bank, get a debit card and checking account and stuff. And this student checking account is all about going green and paperless. So as the girl is clicking away and as she is like 10 papers print out from the printer for me to sign and stuff. I think my "green" checking account killed about ten trees. But thats all folks for this post.


Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Limiting love

" We accept the love we think we deserve."

I came to a conclusion today. Little kids tend to think of God as mommy, or daddy, or big sister, or caregiver. I also think that many teens and adults do that as well. What mom or dad got mad at, God gets mad at, which is not true. I don't think God even gets mad, he might get upset or annoyed at our stupid choices, but I don't think he gets mad. Anyway not the point. To all the people who feel like they have made huge life altering mistakes, don't let anyone tell you don't deserve the same quality of love that the saints do. Even the mistakes that change lives, become something beautiful at the end.

We shouldn't limit the love of Christ, or anyone else for that matter just because we don't feel we deserve it.

K I have more to add, but will do it later.

Monday, July 28, 2008

Light of Salvation

Light of Salvation
Desperation Band

All around the world
You hear now's the time
Break the chains and hold them high
Hold them high

We were made for such a time as this
To make a difference
In the world we live
Now we live

Who's dancing
Who's singing
Who's living a life worth living
We are we are we're shining
The light of salvation
Who's running
Who's loving
Who's breaking the doors wide open
We are we are we're shining
The light of salvation

Old has turned to something new and beautiful
Broken dreams are coming true
They're coming true

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
We're shining the light of salvation
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
We're shining the light of salvation

We have made our choice we are
We are a generation with one voice to shout
Of Your salvation

Ok, so this is one of my current favorite songs. And I think that It raises some really good points. In church all the time we hear about reaching people for Christ, and working together with other people to reach people for Christ. But I think that the labels we give ourselves as Christians are often detrimental to our "goal." Catholic, Protestant, Presbyterian, Brethren, Methodist, whatever- labels are for soup cans. I feel like many churches struggle to be unified, both with a congregation and in their greater denomination. So that is why I posted the song up there above this little bit. I think that in order to really reach poeple different denominations need to stand up and work with each other, cause at the core we all love Jesus, and that is all we need to connect.

Ok its's late and I hope that made some sort of sense.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

I"M HOME!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok so I my flight was the stuff of dreams.  We left early, we got in early.  My seatmate was funny.  There were no crying children.  I slept.  It was good stuff.  I wondered around Broad Ripple for like 90 minutes.  We left indy around two, I got home around 3, and around 4 took a nap til 9.  It was good. 

Mmmmmm BedTime,


Go there now. It's a free music search engine, really quite cool.

Flight out.

So tomorrow I fly out to Indiana at 7:15 am I think. And it's a direct flight, go me. So pray for an easy, fast flight. I love you.

Post Secret Sundays

God, this is so freaking true.

Saturday, July 26, 2008


So the 300th post will come up in, 31 posts. Cause I just cleaned out my drafts and I only have 269 posts. But that's ok. It gives me more time to think of something totally amazing to do for it. :)

Blogs to post:

OK so this is more of an accountibility for me so that these blogs get posted. But the following are blogs I need to write/post.

A) 300th blog post, which will be amazing.
B) Light of Salvation by Desperation Band.

Also the thing I am working on for my 300th post might well not be exactly the 300th post. But it'll be something like that.


Tuesday, July 22, 2008

I'm here!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm here in Texas. I had good flights and stuff. Go me!
Ok I'm off. Maybe I'll do a real update soon.

Ladies and Gentleman

Dear readers,
If I ever knit something that (unintentionally) resembles a penis, would you please tell me?

I love you.

Missing someone isn't about how long it's been since you've seen them last or the amount of time since you've's about that very moment when you're doing something and you wish that they were right there with you.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Lessons from camp

Over the years I've learned a lot of lessons from camp. But three lessons really have stuck out with me.

1) I am third. God is first. Everyone else is second. And I am third. This can be a really hard lesson to put into practice. Putting everyone else before ourselves can be really hard. That includes everyone, not just those people that we like.

2) To NEVER send your daughter to camp with pink panties.

3) To be humble. I am not the most humble person in the world. It was just this past summer that I really learned that at the root everything good and bad, there is Jesus. He is my rock, my life, and my love. Nothing I do would be possible had Jesus not paid the way for me to be here right now. I am working on being humble, I guess. To give credit, where credit is due. And quite frankly, Jesus deserves the most credit of all.

I guess I am working on these two real lessons I've learned from camp. However I am going to leave you with a creed so to speak.


I would be true, for there are those who trust me,

I would be pure, for there are those who care,

I would be strong, for there is much to suffer,

I would be brave, for there is much to dare.

I would be friend to all, the foe, the friendless,

I would be giving and forget the gift,

I would be humble, for I know my weakness,

I would look up and laugh, and love and lift.


PS: I leave for texas in the morning so would love it if my wonderful readers would pray for safe travel, no flight delays, and just that week goes well overall.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Post Secret Sundays

So the pickings on Postsecret this week were slim. So I pulled one from the Postsecret german version

So it says in English, "I hope Greece is the solution." I think we all do that. We hope the next step in our lives is the solution for some problem we have. I certainly hope college is the solution for two or three things in my life.

7 posts to post 300....need some ideas kiddies.


Saturday, July 19, 2008

God, I just miss you like crazy. I miss our contraband visits, and our hanging out on Backcountry roads. and just our chilling out. I know that we can never be the same. and I'm ok with that. I love that whats happened between us has formed this bond of super closeness. The role you fill in my life, big brother, mentor, perspective giver, friend, whatever you wanna call it. No one else has ever fit it quite right. You are one in a million. You really are. There were so man days I just wished that things could be undone. But now I feel like I have something of the master plan, if just tiny corner of it. I call you when I need to ramble through a problem or get perspective on something. And if nothing else you pretend to listen, because that's just how you are. you let me ramble on and on about the same thing, even if I'm just repeating myself. I am so freaking thankful for you. You tossed my blades, and took my sobbing phone calls and broke down the walls I had built up between myself and the rest of the world. You are the most caring person I think I have ever met. It floors me that, because we aren't supposed to be friends, you are my closest friend. While at times I LOVE the distance between us. More often than not I just want a big hug and to hear that everything will be ok, no matter what. I love that about your hugs. They just make me smile and feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.

Friday, July 18, 2008

My top whatever church camp moments

So all of you kids know that camp has been my driving force since I was 8 years old. And I just can't believe I'm done as a camper. Since I was reminiscing, I thought I'd share this with you, my wonderful readers.

These are my top whatever favorite church camp moments in no particular order.
1)Pants off Dance off, "nuff said. It's a clean video. Click here for more camp videos from Epworth 06'.
2) Dance party to "My Humps". Such a special night.
3) The fishhead on the girls shower head in Northstar. The cabin smelled like fish all week long. Oh wanda, how we didn't miss you.
4) The cascading wall of poop.
5) Chad and Dillon being herded downstairs semidressed for breakfast.
6) Late night prayer and shares. (see above link)
7) My first summer we made a cross with string tying it together and tied our burdens to it. We continued this tradition. It was just a really powerful night for so many people.
8) The prayer walk last summer. As much as it upset and freaked out so many people, it was what I needed to be where I am today.
9) The water balloon fight inside the cabin last summer at two AM, stink bombs included.
10) Brandon running out midweek in the summer of Northstar, to get me more Altoids.
11) When Matt spiked the Koolaid with Ex-lax. Oh Hunter.
12) Commitment night this past summer especially.
13) PSG 07. <3 The best PSG group ever. Not even kidding.
14) Ducktaping poeple to trees 0:).
15) Matt breaking that window in Forrest lodge from Northstar.
16) Matt throwing the bunk in Northstar. (Matt was the cause of lots of problems. :))
17) The 24 hours of the awesome airconditioners.
18) The summer of the pregnancy test.
19) The lunch lady song.
20) Mudwrestling, Summer 05'
21) Mike the Seaweed monster.
22) Seeing the guys play for the entire camp.
23) Seeing my youth group grow closer together and grow in Christ.
23) Seeing my youth group grow closer together and grow in Christ.
24) Realizing my potential to reach people from my generation for Christ.
25) Growing up, as bittersweet as it is.

For your reference:
Northstar= Summer 05'
Mckendree= Summer 06'
Redwing= Summer 07'
Whitfield= Summer 08'

Note: All links are clean, even if the description doesn't sound it.


Thursday, July 17, 2008

From the Inside out.

This is a video of the guys, and then some. singing From The Inside Out at camp. I am so proud of these guys. I know they will do such great things with their lives. I love them.

Hillsong Fun

So one of my current favorite songs is "From the Inside Out" by Hillsong. I posted the lyrics to it here. And I was listening to it in the shower and it hit me how much of a prayer this is. It's the ultimate prayer and praise all in one.

"A thousand times I've failed
Still your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
Still I'm caught in Your grace"
That is just the best reassurance ever. To know that no matter how much we have screwed up or what we have done in our past that we are still welcome in Jesus' arms. I am so thankful for that.

"Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades"
When all else fades we have Jesus to cling too. This line to me is more of a prayer than a praise. 'Cause when things get hard it can be really hard to see that there is a master plan going on in all the stuff in our lives.

"Never ending Your glory goes beyond all fame"
This just reminds me that no matter what no matter how big or famous or well known we get as people on this Earth, that Jesus made the way for all of us to do what we do.

"In my heart, in my soul, Lord I give you control
Consume me from the inside out Lord"
Giving total control to someone else is such a hard thing to do. But I think that it is made easier knowing that when we give total control to Jesus, He has our back 100% of the time.

"Let justice and praise become my embrace
To love You from the inside out"
This just really reminds me we can't love anyone else fully until we allow ourselves to be loved, and to love ourselves.

"Your will above all else, my purpose remains
The art of losing myself in bringing you praise"
As a community of followers, Jesus breaks us to be able to love Him and others more.

"And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise
From the inside out Lord, my soul cries out"
At the root of us, all we really wanna praise Jesus, with all of our being.

Ok this is it. Blogger is PMSy right now so if the format is jacked that is why.
Just let me know if it's broken on your computer and let know what operating system, and browser you're using.


Blogger is seriously on crack right now. So if any words are cut off just let me know.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Good Girl

Good Girl by Sara Barilles

Little girl, little town, little left to say
Hard enough to get out, much less get away
Speak your mind if you dare to be heard
I warn you I'm very daring with words
I was wild, entertained, on a hunt for myself
Got your claws in my mane
As if I need help
Made my mask, made my dress
Did your best to make me
You came first, now at last
Get what I heard you say
You want me to be believe that if you want to stick around
you better settle down, stay in one place,
don't you mess around, & Wear a little blush on your face
Be a good girl, good girls are what we need
Wear it if you can, take it like a man
Remember your place, get your diamond ring, don't say a thing
A lady has grace, and good girls, good girls are what we need
Well get your good girls and get the hell away from me

Stake your claim, your possession, all over me
Make your aim my obsession, to what you want I need
Bind my feet, cut my hair
Tell me who you think I should be
Gotten used to thin air
Someday you're gonna see me you want me to believe that if you want to stick around you better settle down

Whisper to me, just wait and you will see
Things are changing so quickly
I give up, I give out, and I'm down on my knees
You smile as you say finally, and I know what you mean
You are the same thing, just give it changing

You're the good girl, what does that mean?
Can you be strong
Dare you live long dare you
Dare you to be proud, dare you
Dare you live loud

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Post 300

My 300th post is coming up in a mere 18 posts. I want to do something extra spectacular and special for it. Get those wheels turning in your slightly fuzzy brains and start giving me ideas. However, it must be something that isn't super image heavy for the sake of willis' hardly dial-up internet.


Camp Part Dos

There might be a part three, we'll see.

God, I miss camp. I'm so not ready to grow up. But I have a story for you kiddies.

Commitment Night:

In the past I have been more interested in what the rest of my group was doing on commitment night, than what I was doing. This summer was totally different. After the alter call was called I sat there for few minutes and just prayed to myself before I stood up. I walked to the back and saw JE got in his line. I don't cry at things like ever. I was crying by the end of the prayer. I just felt so rejuvenated after that. Then I came back to sit down and I saw like 90% of my group in one giant hug so I went up to join them. And it was just the best time. All of us were crying and just being broken in the best and most rewarding way possible. I think the worship was the very best that night. After the group circle ended it was just a round of hugs and tears and the whole nine yards. Such a great night.

Ok now a couple things I am going to throw unto my lovely readers radar to pray for me about, or just keep in your thoughts.

A) What my future holds, what my major will be.
B) Traveling mercies on the 22nd and the 27th for Texas
C) That I get my appetite back in a reasonable time.

I love you,

Monday, July 14, 2008

My friends rock

God, my friends rock. They give me perspective and encouragement. Or just offer the gift of good conversation, which is lovely. Especially the kind of people that you learn something new just about every time you converse. I love it.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Post Secret Sundays

"If I could make this last forever I would"
God, this is exactly how I feel about so much stuff in my life. Being a camper, Mississippi, so much stuff.

Yay hillsong

From the Inside Out
United We Stand

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out


Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Can you tell I'm bored yet?

Phone Survey

What color?

Who's the first person who comes up under the letter M?

Who was your last missed call from?

Who's the 2nd person who comes up under A?

Who's speed dial 2?
I don't use speeddial.

Who's the 3rd person who comes up under D?

Who was your last received call from?

Who's speed dial number 4?
don't use it.

What is your background?
front : Willis Inside :dani

How many text messages are currently in your inbox?

Who's speed dial 6
your mom

What's the 5th message say in your inbox?

Who's the 1st person who comes up under B?

Who was your last text message from?

Name every person you have text messages from?
Mr. Huntington

whos the 9th person on your missed calls?

What does the 6th message in your outbox say?
oh. Yay

Who is the last name in your phonebook?

Do you have a camera phone?:
Who doesn't?

Who is the last person under G?

What does your first text message in your inbox say?
"ice cream? Grill cheese? Cereal? Saghetti O's" Chicken Wings?"

Who is the third person under K?

What kind of phone do you have?
the 8300


My blanket still smells like camp. I love it. :)

Camp Part Uno

So I wrote this on communion night(Wednesday), well most of it.

So Wednesday morning I got sick and was sick the rest of the week. The drama team ate lunch with us on Wednesday. My PSG leader from last summer, JE, was also on the drama team this summer, so that was really cool for me. JE and I had a really good talk at lunch that day. It was probably the most honest I've been with someone for a long time. He is such a great guy. I have the highest level of respect for him. I know I've already said this to you dude, but thanks for everything.

So during prayer and share that night, we talked a lot about accountability partners and maintaining the camp high. There is one person who I can tell anything, who knows all of my dirty little secrets. Now I have a whole lot of respect for people who have accountability partners, whom they see on a daily or weekly basis, just because even I know mine does not think any less of me, and quite possibly more of me for being so honest with him. I wouldn't want to see him on the day after I have told him some of the stuff he knows about me. My point is in all this rambling, that I think it helps if they live oh say, across the country, or 2500 miles away whichever is farther. :)

It was also that it hit me that this was my last week as a camper. And that scares me, a lot. Not being a camper anymore means growing up, and growing up means dying a little inside. But I guess it's just a nudge into the next chapter of my life. Camp counselor maybe? We'll see what next summer holds for me.


Sunday, July 06, 2008

Post Secret Sundays

" I want my face to be infallibly carved with laugh lines when I'm old and grey, to reveal the happiness I've lived to know. At seventeen this is my lifes greatest drive, I hope it never changes."

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Summer nights

So right now I'm sitting in front of a fire with a fireworks show in the north sky. Now as I write this I know that this will probably be the last bonfire of the summer, cause we're all so busy. But if this is the last bonfire of the summer I'll be a happy camper. We burned school stuff and we made pasta and it's good time. So I'm going to leave you with a song that I just love.

In This Diary by The Ataris

Here in this diary
I write you visions of my summer
It was the best I ever had
There were choruses and sing-alongs
And not a spoken feeling
I'm knowing that right now is all that matters.
All the nights we stayed up talking
And listening to 80's songs
Quoting lines from all those movies that we love.
It still brings a smile to my face
I guess when it comes down to it..

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up
These are the best days of our lives
The only thing that matters
Is just following your heart
And eventually you'll finally get it right.

Breaking into hotel swimming pools
And wreaking havoc on our world
Hanging out at truck stops just to pass the time
The black top's singing me to sleep
Lighting fireworks in parking lots
Illuminate the blackest nights
Cherry cokes under this moonlight summer sky
2015 Riverside, it's time to say, "goodbye"
Get on the bus, it's time to go

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up
These are the best days of our lives
The only thing that matters
Is just following your heart
And eventually you'll finally get it right.

Get it right
Get it right

Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up
These are the best days of our lives
The only thing that matters
Is just following your heart
And eventually you'll finally get it right.

Being grown up [Being grown up] isn't half as fun as growing up
These are the best days of our lives
The only thing that matters
Is just following your heart
And eventually you'll finally get it right.

Ok so this song is about growing up, and I think about going to college("2015 Riverside, it's time to say, "goodbye"/
Get on the bus, it's time to go"). Which is scary and awesome and confusing all at the same time. This summer, in all it's crazyness, is one of the best ever.
I love you,

Happy July 4th

For July 4th, I went to Willises house and chilled. We ate food, played DDR, an shot fireworks at each other. It was a good wholesome time. Haha. I came home at 4 am and my mom had a mini conversation with me about it. It was tight. And then today, my moms side of the family is here and it's fuuun. There is a cute baby here. Maybe I'll get a picture of her.

I need to go, but I'll post real update soon.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

So next week?

So next week i'm at camp, and everyone knows how much I love camp mail and care packages.

For email:
Click here. and fill out the right stuff. The dates I am at camp are July 6th - the 12th. The camp session number thing is E503

For snailmail and care packages(which a I really like):
My name- E503
P.O. Box 16
North Webster, IN 46555

Be mindful for snailmail the time it takes for it to arrive in Webster. For a package the latest I'd wait to send it is monday, same with letters. For a package double check it to make sure that it will get there in time.

Five poeple

1) Dani
2) Kayla
3) Quinnita
4) Willis
5) Annie

Where did you meet number 4 at?

Do you love anyone up there?
well duh, I am however not in love with any of them

What would you do if number 5 and number 2 were going out?
I don't think they swing that way.

How did you meet number 1?

Is 4 one of your best friends?
Yes he is

Who's 3s best friend?
oh I don't know. I have my doupts if they have a "best friend."

Have you ever eaten around number 1?
Yeah I have. Pasta Fridays, sometimes saturdays, really whenever we're around each other.

Do you miss number 4?
yeah I do.

Do you miss number 2?
Not really, our relationship is special.

What do you like about number 2?
Her hair, and she ups my text count.

What do you think of number 1?
I love her.

Who does number 3 like?
We don't talk about those kinda things.

Have you ever been inside number 1's house?

Do you like number 1?
well yes

Do you trust number 5?
Of course, we went to camp together.

Have you ever dated number 5?
Hahahaha no

Have you and number 2 ever sung together?

Have you ever spent the night with number 4?
yes two or three times

Do you think any of them will repost this?
Willis maybe.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Why do you blog?

I found this survey today and thought I'd do it then make all my fellow bloggers do it.

A) Why do you blog?

I blog because it allows me to connect with my family, as a well as other bloggers and blog readers.

B) What is your favorite part about blogging?

My favorite part about blogging is that I can connect with poeple that I otherwise wouldn't be able to. People like Laura from 95 Miles.

C) What is your least favorite part about blogging?

My least favorite part about blogging is that I can't talk about anything. Because my blog is a public blog for anyone to read, there are some things that are better not said, like my salaciously kinky, hot, steamy sex life, which doesn't exist.

D) What are your favorite blogs to read and why?

I love reading the PostSecret blog. It's my addiction.
I like reading my stepmoms' blog because it occasionally has funny sentences.
95 Miles is a fun blog to read. It has a good mix of weekly things then good semi regular updates.

From here I request anyone who reads this post to do this survey thingy, and comment mine so I can read and comment yours.



Hey look at me!

Post Secret sundays--errr Monday

"I'm begging you, be careful with your life. It's so important and there are poeple who can't imagine going on without you."